A good friend of me recently changed my perspective on a whole lot of things. It was actually in regards to my colicky baby. I got frustrated with him constantly asking my self (or sometimes crying outloud), "WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM? Why won't he ...?

My friend said, "You need to ask yourself what are you doing to contribute to his (fill in the blank), fussiness, screaming in pain, not wanting to sleep in the crib." You are doing something to contribute to his problem, find out what it is.

This was not a way to blame me. It was simply a fact finding mission. When I thought about it along these lines, there was always an answer to my "What's the matter with him?" question.

For instance, he would be screaming so long and loud and seeming to be in pain. When I asked myself, "What did I do to contribute to this?" I would realize that I had just ate a powerbar loaded with soy protein. For some reason, soy really hurts my babies' stomachs. Since I was nursing, it crossed right over and my boy would practically double over in pain. (He is too young to double over, but you know what I mean)

Or if he was fussing and wouldn't stop, I asked myself again, "What did I do"? and sure enough I would know the answer. I kept him up way long past his nap and now he is overtired. This answer didn't even tempt me to let him scream it out because I knew exactly why he was crying.

Anyhow, I think this question of "What did I do to contribute to this situation" is an excellent tool. It forces you to discover the facts leading you to the underlying problem or concerning issue.

There is one question I have in particular that I am going to leave open ended to all of my readers. I would really like your feedback since I don't have the answer 100%.

I recently spoke with a guy who is computer sales. He travels constantly all over the world. He doesn't seem to like it. I said to him, "Can't you delegate the overseas sales to someone who enjoys it?" He said, "I did hire someone. He's great. He does all the sales. Problem is, he leaves the sales undone so it ends up leaving more work for me to have to wrap up. I'm actually traveling MORESO now that he has been hired."

Why does this seem to ring true for many of us. We hear about the benefits of delegating, so we delegate. And then, somehow, more work is created for us.

Why is this? Why is it just easier to do work ourselves? I cannot put this thought to rest because I know how powerful and wonderful delegating can be so I refuse to give it up.

I think the answer to this problem is to go back to the question, "What I am doing to contribute to this situation." Could it be the computer sales owner doesn't have a clear protocol for customer sales follow up and accountability?" There is an answer to the question and I think it would solve the frustration of "Let me just do this myself. You've made more work for me."