If you want motivation to last, you need to rely on inspiration. Inspiration is rooted in our emotions. The positive results of using inspiration as the motivator are obvious. Inspired people tend to be proactive, driven personality types. They don't need a carrot dangling in front of them to get anything accomplished. They are happier and enjoy greater fulfillment in life than those who are desperation-driven. If you just check the help-wanted section of your newspaper, these types of people are always in demand. To be most effective, inspiration needs to be internalized. Motivation becomes long-term when the goal taps into inner drive and emotion. The key to finding success is being emotionally motivated with a purpose. I have given success-oriented psychology and persuasion boot camps all over the country and Ive met wonderful people at each one. People frequently come up to me afterward and tell me enthusiastically how theyre ready to take action and make changes in their lives. They seem so fired up that you could light a match with their energy. After talking to them, I feel convinced that nothing will stand in their way. But then an interesting thing happens. When I follow up a few weeks later, nothing has really changed for many of them. Their motivation seemed high, but just a brief passage of time found them totally unmotivated again. Several of these occasions made me begin to wonder why it is such a natural tendency that we lack the motivation to actually do the things we really want to do, even after weve made strong commitments to do them. Then I naturally began to wonder how one would take want and turn it into action. How could one become a Master Persuader and be able to motivate people to take action? If you were to ask a group of people off the street if they want to be financially independent, to lose weight, or have better relationships, most everyone would say yes. But what are they doing about it? We know what we want, but what are we doing. Most of us start to generate sparks, but we just cant seem to get the fire started. We want it, but we cant motivate ourselves enough to actually do anything about it. Why? Because it involves work and energy and most of us dont understand the science of motivation. We live in a world where we want everything now. We want a quick fix. We want instant gratification and quick results. Not only do we want instant gratification, but we also want it with minimal effort. Gentle Motivation vs. Brutal Force The First Step to Motivating Others The first place to start mastering motivation is within you. If you cant motivate yourself, how are you going to motivate others? As this chapter unfolds, you will learn ways to motivate those you are trying to persuade, but first you will learn how to apply these skills to yourself. Figure out what motivates you. You must first understand your own motives and desires before you can be motivated. Motivation is based on the finding and fulfilling of unmet needs and wants. We all have universal human needs and wants that require being fulfilled in the same way. Of course, we all have different needs and wants as well. Two of the major keys to motivation are: knowing a persons needs and wants. Then figure out how to fulfill them. Many of us are familiar with Abraham Maslows Hierarchy of Needs. A renowned researcher and psychologist, Maslow proposed a hierarchy of needs demonstrating the human needs we are most motivated to satisfy. The base of the motivational order begins with the fundamentals of life. These fundamental, life-sustaining needs must be met before the higher needs can be targeted. When lower needs are not met, the higher needs are less urgent or persuaded. Self-actualization needs: realizing ones own talents, gifts, and potential
Ego needs: respect, status, and recognition
Social needs: affection, companionship, and inclusion
Safety needs: protection from physical harm
Physiological needs: food, sleep, and safety As the more basic needs are fulfilled, they lose their motivating power. We then have to work up the hierarchy and target needs in other areas. For example, if running water is something we take for granted then a glass of tap water is unlikely to spur us on to action. And conversely, if we cant meet this months rent, then we most likely are not thinking too much about self-actualization. As Sigmund Freud said, A man with a toothache cannot be in love. To motivate, be sure you address the lowest unmet need in the hierarchy and then offer opportunities for those needs to be met. Many think motivation is useless because it doesnt ensure long-lasting results. This can be seen in what I call the Desperation Cycle. The Desperation Cycle shows how human nature influences us to take the easiest path instead of the best path. In persuasion, we need to pull people out of the Desperation Cycle and into permanent, long-term motivation. We all know we are creatures of habit. We are like water following the path of least resistance. As creatures of habit, we dwell in our comfort zones. This is a place where we dont have to think or spend much energy analyzing our surroundings. In this zone, we become complacent, comfortable, and resistant to change. We live by habit and routine. We dont stretch or strive for excellence in the comfort zone. We consider change only when the pain of our current situation becomes too intense to ignore. Fear of the unknown and fear of making mistakes are also reasons why we stay in our comfort zone. We love our comfort zone because it is a safe place where we can reduce our mistakes and keep our failures to a minimum. Mark Twain said, A cat that steps on a hot stove once will never step on a hot stove again but neither will it step on a cold one. The comfort zone is safe and warm, but it keeps us paralyzed and unmotivated. In the Desperation Cycle, we first feel safe in our comfort zone. Then fear even begins to creep in there. We realize we havent accomplished any of the things we need to do. Suddenly, we fear what we are becoming, where we are going. As we contemplate this destination, we panic and work frantically to save ourselves. This frantic rehabilitation lasts just long enough for us to see exactly how steep the hill is going to be, or how long the marathon really is, and then the excitement dies. We numb ourselves to these stark realizations and find ourselves lulled back into the comfort zone. Reinforcement Theory suggests that people are motivated to avoid pain and seek pleasure. Bradac, Bowers, and Courtright asserted that the same is true when people are being persuaded. If a person agrees with a particular position, they will find it inspiring and will likely evaluate the source positively. If a person disagrees with a particular position, they will find it offensive and typically evaluate the source negatively. Basically, there are only two things that motivate us in life: inspiration and desperation. We either move toward that which inspires us, or we move away from something that fills us with despair or discomfort. The majority of the world uses desperation as a motivator. It is like a cattle prod forcing you to move and take action. I can motivate anyone in the world with desperation. The problem is that motivation spurred by desperation does not last. Do you know any lazy teenagers? I promise you, I can motivate them guaranteed. Ill take them for a boat ride, and while I am in the middle of the lake, Ill throw them off and hold their heads under the water. What will I see besides bubbles? Theyll fight and struggle until they get that breath of air. Once they can breathe easily, theyre back to being lazy. When desperation is the motivator, people are in an away from mentality. This temporary motivation wont last; it wont reappear until threat or fear becomes prominent again. Desperation is rooted in logic. People are often so preoccupied with what theyre trying to escape that they dont know where theyre heading. Conclusion
Persuasion is the missing puzzle piece that will crack the code to dramatically increase your income, improve your relationships, and help you get what you want, when you want, and win friends for life. Ask yourself how much money and income you have lost because of your inability to persuade and influence. Think about it. Sure youve seen some success, but think of the times you couldnt get it done. Has there ever been a time when you did not get your point across? Were you unable to convince someone to do something? Have you reached your full potential? Are you able to motivate yourself and others to achieve more and accomplish their goals? What about your relationships? Imagine being able to overcome objections before they happen, know what your prospect is thinking and feeling, feel more confident in your ability to persuade. Professional success, personal happiness, leadership potential, and income depend on the ability to persuade, influence, and motivate others. |
