There is so much pain and suffering in this world today and I dont feel like there is enough talking about what it is like to be happily married. Sometimes I am in awe about how unusual it is in this world to see a truly happy married couple. No nagging, no bullsh*t, no rage, no getting even, no ulterior motivesjust unconditional love.

Now there is an interesting concept. Unconditional love. What is it? Well, the dictionary describes it as, without conditions or limitations; absolute. The bible describes unconditional as the purest of all loves. It is the love that God has for us and it is that love that allowed our sins to be forgiven 2000 years ago on a wooden cross on Calvary.

Unconditional love is usually the kind of love parents share with their children. There are the obvious exceptions but overall, parents love their kids no matter what and without any conditions. You love them when they are good and even when they are bad. You would give them the world if you could and dont expect anything in return. That is unconditional love.

But where is the unconditional love in marriage. Two people have pledged their life to one another and yet, there doesnt seem to be any hint of unconditional love anywhere. There is a lot of he hurt me so Ill hurt him back (or vice versa), jealousy, sex is a chore, I am too tired, he just doesnt look like the man I married, she doesnt let me do the things I would like to do, etc. Where is the love? Where is the communication of unconditional love'?

Nick and I have been married for one year and seven months. I can honestly say that we love each other unconditionally. Now before you start spouting the whole newlywed thing, just listen to what I have to say. Nick and I have been married for 19 months BUT we have truly known each other since we were born. We are soul mates and that means that our souls have known each other since before we were born. As soul mates, we love each other without condition, restriction and with no ulterior motives. I love Nick more than I love myself and I would give up my life to save his (and he would do the same). That is the true test of love, according to God. Jesus told His disciples that there is no greater love than to give up his life for his friends. And there is no greater friend here on Earth than my husband.

I know by now that you are asking yourself, is this woman for real? Does she have some sort of perfect life? Actually my life is quite the opposite from perfection. I am, however, happily married to my soul mate and living the best life I can. Wanna know some secrets to our unconditional love?

Secret #1: No matter what happens, always ALWAYS communicate with each other. Talk to each other. Listen to what your partner is really saying. Most all of lifes misunderstandings can be cleared up by just talking about it right away. It is truly as simple as that.

Secret #2: I know this again sounds pretty simple but it works. Nick and I tell each other we love each other several times a day. We never know when something horrible could happen (God forbid) and that person could be gone forever. There is never too much when saying how much you love them.

Secret #3: Put that person first before anything else. No matter what your friends and family may tell you, it is crucial to always uplift your spouse above all others. They need to know that they are the most important person in your eyes and vice versa. In the land of love, it is you two against the world and that is the truth. You are in a marriage with this person and you have vowed to love, honor and cherish. That means that you honor your spouse by placing them #1 in your eyes.

Secret #4: Life is going to throw you curve balls. The key is not to blame each other but to learn how to work together to blast those curve balls out of the park. Working together as a team (and not individuals) enables you both to work through the rough times victoriously.

I know that it is possible to love your spouse unconditionally. Give it a try and be open to the possibilities.