If there's just one thing you do to improve your discipline practices, I would recommend this! Follow these step-by-step directions.

How To Develop Family Rules and Consequences

Step #1- Have a meeting with your spouse/partner/other parent. The two of you should sit down and talk about the rules that are most important to you. I recommend no more than 4-5 house rules.

Step #2- Brainstorm ideas for consequences that are appropriate for the "crime."

Step #3- Sit down with your family (even kids as young as 3 can participate) at a calm, quiet time and ask them their opinion. A question like this can get the ball rolling. "What rules do you think are important to have in our family so that no one's body or feelings get hurt?"

Step # 4- Write down the rules that everyone suggests. Make sure that the rules that you identified in Step #1 are included on the list. Use the words that your children are providing so the rules are kid-friendly.

Step #5- Refine the rules so they are clear and specific. Ie. "Be respectful" is vague. "No name calling" is clear.

Step #6- Next, you want to get everyone's input on appropriate consequences for breaking a rule.

Step #7- Finalize the rules and consequences if they are close to the rules that both parents agrees upon in #1. If not, the parents should meet privately to hash out the differences.

Step #8- Write the rules down, meet again as a family, review the rules, have everyone sign them which means they agree to abide by the family rules and post them in a prominent place.

How can this process help you to be a better parent and be more consistent?

"  As parents you've taken the time to discuss what rules are most important to you (which many of us never sit down to do!). "  You've reached a consensus within the family about what rules are most important to you. "  The rules are crystal clear. "  It takes the mystery out of what will happen when a rule is broken. "  You and the other parent will enforce the same consequence for the same offense building in consistency. "  When you're tired, you can simply look at the chart to remember the consequence. "  The consequence is more likely to be a logical one if you've provided forethought on the behavior.