"I have lived in this city all my life. My family is here. I am pretty satisfied, but lately I'm getting restless. I want to move somewhere - anywhere. I was thinking of Seattle...:"

Whenever I give a talk, somebody asks this question. If we're in Miami, people want to move to Seattle. If we're in Seattle, Miami sounds pretty good - especially if we're in the rainy season.

(1) Identify what you have now. Lisette said,"My whole family is here. We have family meetings every two weeks. They are very important to me."

(2) Get a sense of why are you restless. Is your career growing stale? Do you need to meet new people?

A common response is, "I can't find anyone to date." Over the years, I hasve found that, when people are ready to commit to a partner, they seem to find just the right person, whether they're in New York, San Francisco, or even Gainesville, Florida.

But some people are ready to move. Sometimes people really do become happier after they've moved. Your true home may be a place you've never been.

(3) Ask yourself, "What am I moving to?" Do you want a bigger city with more culture, more people, more diversity? Do you want to live in a place where you can afford to buy a house? Do you want a change of climate or a place near the water?

"Moving without a job" and "Choosing a destination" are topics from my book, Making the Big Move.

(4) Begin to visualize yourself living in the place you've chosen.

See yourself walking the streets and driving the freeways. Feel the sun coming through the windows. Over time, your visualization will change. Sometimes it will disappear altogether. Don't try to hold on: you'll soon find a new goal.

And don't try to visualize a place you've never been. Visit first. Visualize later.

(5) Expect surprises, once you admit you are restless and can visualize yourself already moved.

I began visualizing a move to Philadelphia while I was living in Canada. I wasn't sure how I'd get there or where I'd live or what I'd be doing. I just imagined walking around Rittenhouse Square, living in a great apartment with wide windowsills where the cats could sun themselves while I worked on the computer.

The visualization came easily. Eventually I was offered a job in the Philadelphia area and found an apartment I loved. The cats did enjoy the windowsills (although they thought the low-flying helicopters were pretty strange birds) and I began writing my book there.

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