A great deal of information has been written about ADHD. Most of it makes us think of a bad little boy running around destroying everything in his path, so when we are out we think we can spot the child with ADD. Yes, it is the little boy destroying everything he comes in contact with, but what about the little girl who is sitting quietly with her mother who is very polite and afraid to speak, and when spoken to looks very lost and confused?

No one would ever guess that the little girl might have ADD also.

ADD and ADHD can be difficult and cause distractibility and forgetfulness, difficulty following rapid conversations, disorganization and very low self esteem. Both can cause difficulty with school work and getting assignments finished on time. ADD and ADHD can affect a person's ability to keep track of their belongings or to keep track of time.

Characteristics of ADD:

Can be sluggish
Honors other peoples boundaries
They are obedient
Usually underassertive
Overly polite
Docile (quiet and easy to control)
Modest
Shy
Socially withdrawn - prefers being alone
May bond with others but may not attract friends very well

Girls with ADD may go unnoticed and undiagnosed because they are very polite and quiet. They are very sensitive to criticism and are very emotional, which causes a great amount of inner turmoil and they may continue to silently struggle. Their ADHD counterparts seem to be untouched by the stresses around them and jump around as if nothing bothered them. Girls with ADD have a very low tolerance for stress and can become more withdrawn and feel they are not good at anything or can't seem to do anything right.

Helping a Person with ADD

Whether they are shy, withdrawn or hyper and impulsive, girls with ADD feel emotionally overwhelmed. Stress management techniques from an early age should be learned and they need time to "regroup" after an upset.

Parents, even with the best intentions, continuously bombard corrections and criticisms at girls with ADD, such as, "You need to be smart like your sister", "You are so stupid. You need to make good grades to finish school", "Why do you let people run over you?", "You need to be more assertive", "You need to make more friends".

These girls, no matter if they are shy or loud and rebellious suffer from low self-esteem.

To these girls, home is an important place to refuel and regroup. They need time to rebuild the confidence that is so frequently broken down during the day at school. Girls with ADD feel they are not good at anything. They are easily distracted, impulsive and disorganized and this usually results in poor grades. They don't usually have the drive and assertiveness to develop skills and alertness like many of their friends. Praising them when they find a skill or ability are terrific positive boosts. Sometimes a girl with ADD reaches a positive turning point when she is lucky enough to find an activity she feels good about.