Surprisingly when we approached my fiancee's Pastor of four years to marry us he showed us how little faith he had in the institution of marriage. All he gave us was an hour long statistical breakdown of marital failures, familial mishaps, propensities and probabilities. Though he is a minister, the Pastor never mentioned God in the equation. There was never a single Scripture given from the Bible nor an encouraging word about marriage.

Another shocking thing was he said to my fiancee, his church member of four years, "I hardly know you." Well, who's fault is that? Certainly not my fiancee's. She attends church regularly, works as a greeter when people enter the doors and pays her tithes.

I was blown away to hear such a remark. Nevertheless this Pastor didn't hesitate to interview us regarding our family backgrounds and make mention of the statistical probability for difficulty based on the fact that both of us come from divorced parents.

Such is the problem with modern day ministers. They are long on diagnosis and short on cure. I could have unearthed such statistics anywhere. We approached the Pastor thinking he would be a man of faith. He was nothing of the sort. Maybe his own marital struggles and woes got the best of him.

Nevertheless a man of the clothe who represents the God of heaven should not be propagating fear. I thank God for the reality check to sober us up and make sure we are well beyond the infatuation stage. However where does God fit in the equation? You'd think the Pastor would be thrilled that his church member was marrying a minister. I even have the same last name as the Pastor.

Father fear as I will now call him was fixated on the negatives and never accentuated the positives of marriage. As the interview drew to a close father fear made mention of "certain things" you discover about a person over time. I boldly and directly asked father fear, "What certain things are you talking about? You sound a bit vague. Please be specific."

Father fear said he'd email us a list because he had to go. Father fear never emailed me a list as promised but instead emailed my fiancee and that at her old former address. I wonder what father fear was really be motivated by? It certainly wasn't the God of faith in heaven. Without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11:6).

God doesn't give a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind (2Timothy 1:7). I saw plenty of fear in this Pastor and very little faith that works by love (Galatians 5:6).

Thankfully God gave us the "sound mind" to happily move on and find another minister to perform our wedding ceremony. God beautifully orchestrated me meeting her at the Smart Marriages conference where we both we attending PAIRS training. She just so happened to be sitting at my table, not to mention she lives in the same city in Canada where my fiancee was born and near the wedding venue.

Minister Mandi happily embraced and congratulated us about our plans to marry. She has a warm heart, loving disposition and most importantly a spirit of faith.

Without a spirit of faith to rejoice in holy matrimony, what good is a minister officiating a ceremony where two souls unite in love for life?

Live and let live! Set your faith to believe for the best about people and for their future. Otherwise get out of the ministry!