What if success is not something you achieve after you have taken certain steps, but an experience that flows right now from who you choose to be and how you choose to relate to the world? This is probably not a new thought to most readers, yet it may be one that often seems more ideal than real.

Habits of the Mind

There are many reasons why the present experience of success eludes us. For one thing, sometimes our choices simply fall short of our aspirations. In those times, we do not experience success because we have not, at least for the moment, succeeded in our own eyes.

But what about the times when we have acted in good faith without tasting success? What's going on when we taste such "unsuccessful" feelings as bitterness, fear, sadness, or cloying self-absorption. What is up with that?

I propose that one factor is that we have not learned to experience success. Like a compulsive overeater gulping a gourmet meal, we may be so overcome by our habitual hunger that we cannot taste the riches we've obtained. And no matter how much we eat, we leave the table with a hungry spirit.

Perhaps this explains why so often the path to improved performance involves slowing down and savoring what is rather than speeding up in pursuit of what could be. It's not that seeking after distant goals is wrong, but that the search must be founded in present commitments and values. We must learn to claim success by experiencing it fully in the present moment.

PART 2

In part one I showed you how Habits of the Mind can keep us from experiencing success. Now, in part two, I'll show you how you can work with Habits of the Heart to claim the success that you have earned.

Habits of the Heart

Moods are the habits of the heart. Unlike emotions, which arise in response to specific events, moods form a background that can shape our responses to events. And like background music or cobwebs, we may not notice our own moods (or we may underestimate their power) even though the moods of others are readily apparent.

If moods operate in the background, we must bring them into the foreground in order to shift them. When we become aware of our moods, we have an opportunity to have our feelings rather than our feelings having us. It sounds simple, yet anyone who has tried to get out from under the weight of a chronic mood can tell you it is no easy feat.

Rather than tackling energy draining moods head on, it can be helpful to observe and cultivate generative moods, moods in which you naturally feel resourceful, successful, whole. Coaches are trained to help clients savor their successes, not for the sake of self-aggrandizement but to develop greater generativity, to promote both healthy ambition and well-being.

Too often we rush past our successes and onto the next challenge. Like chronic over eaters whose cravings grow while satisfaction declines, we chase after adrenalizing challenges, scarcely aware of the colors, textures, and flavors of our current accomplishments. The cost is that the more we accomplish, the more we dull our senses. We lose the ability to discriminate between what is nourishing and what is habit-forming. We confuse engagement with stimulation.

Shifting this pattern entails the enticing assignment of noticing every delicious nuance of our wisest choices and most authentic efforts. That's harder than it might seem, for it requires that we pause now and step off the merry-go-round of serial self-improvement so that we can tap into a more stable source of inspiration, purpose, and nourishment. How would your life be different if you were meeting it with full awareness of your own resourcefulness and effectiveness?