Have you ever admired the confidence of another woman as you watched her making a speech, performing on stage or television, shaking hands on a multi-million dollar deal or handling a challenging situation with grace and kindness?

Our perception is that she has it all together and she knows it. However, it's important to realize that no matter how much confidence we exude outwardly, we ALL sometimes doubt our decisions and capabilities.

When we make it more important to LOOK self-reliant than to actually BE self-reliant, we lose even more confidence as we struggle to keep up the appearances.

Certainly self-reliance is an essential quality of a confident woman. However, the woman who uses her confidence to achieve her vision of success is one who has a balance of qualities. The quality of self-reliance needs to be balanced with the quality of resourcefulness the willingness and wisdom to ask for help.

Certain situations can block our confidence, making us less willing to risk stepping out of our comfort zone. Some of these situations could be easily managed if we were willing to draw on outside sources of information and support.

For instance, your manager has asked you to write a report about an area of the company you're not very familiar with. You may choose to be self-reliant and try to figure it out for yourself. You might be concerned with other people's perceptions of you and you definitely don't want to admit that you don't know everything.

You're choosing to wear a mask of confidence, while inside you're doubting yourself and worrying about being "found out". That's a recipe for high stress levels that can quickly overwhelm you!

Instead, you could make an appointment to meet with the key individual in that department to learn more about their needs and interests. In doing so, you'll create an opportunity to collaborate and provide your manager with a well-balanced report. This in turn will increase your managers confidence in you to look out for the best interests of the entire company. Seeking out help, information, resources and support is what will move your forward towards success.

By asking for the support of others, listening thoughtfully and with an open mind, you can then determine whether or not that advice will help you to fulfill your vision of success.

Being a confident woman doesnt mean you have all the answers. It means you're secure enough to seek out the people, resources and solutions you need to overcome obstacles and challenges.