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Main Page › Software & Networking › Tech Support
 

Things Old Men Shouldn't Do

 
Author: John T Jones, Ph.D.

Last week I was checking in with my Internet hosting company about a new domain. The technician said, "With all of your domains, you could move to your own dedicated server and save some dough. You could add even more domains without an increase in your hosting fees."

My son and I have a lot of domains. Well, he only has two (2). I've got fourteen (14). With a new server, I could go up to 30 domains hosted on three (3) ISPs.

The company warned me that with a designated server you are pretty much on your own technically. That didn't bother me much. My hosting company is the best for technical support even when they say they don't support certain products.

Besides I think I can do anything eventually.

Didn't I print engineering data using an old Olivetti computer connected to a Selectric Typewriter? Didn't I add 8-inch drives to my old Radio Shack MP-3?

Full Speed Ahead!

That was last week. Today, I finally got my first domain on to my dedicated server.

On Monday my wife had to use a crowbar to pry me away from my computer.

Last night, a technician again told me I was on my own. His training was short of mine.

I waited until this morning and called again. I knew the morning guys would be able to help me. They figured out what my problem was and I was online. If you want to see my pretty site on my new server go to http://www.aaaflagpoles.com.

Now all I have to do is add 15 more domains and transfer them over from the old servers. That's going to be one big pain in the-

It's a beautiful day today. I want to start a landscape painting with critters in it. Maybe I'll stick in a moose or elk. I've got a great shot of a grizzly bear that can go in there. I've got to think about it.

I got several new books for Christmas. I've got to catch up on my reading.

I've got 346 puzzles left to solve in my Jumbo Sudoku book.

The point is why do I put myself through these technical Olympics when I'm so darned old? I should be fishing today--in Australia.

There are some things an old man shouldn't do. Here is my current list:

1. Don't bend over to tie your shoes. You might hurt your back. Tie them while sitting down or have your wife tie them after she rubs your feet.

2. Don't lift that sack of salt without bending your knees. Better not to lift heavy things at all. Have your wife do it. Have you ever seen a woman with a hernia? It should be called hisnia. (Old joke.)

3. Don't try to learn Spanish at your age. The brain goes language-dead at age 25.

4. Don't try to read the dosage on a medicine package. A print size of "10" is readable until you are age 60. The print size used by pharmaceutical companies is about minus "2." Somebody aught to put them in jail for trying to kill the public by overdose.

5. Don't think about opening a bottle of medicine with out a blow torch or heavy-duty pliers. A monkey wrench sometimes helps.

6. Don't try to understand the MedicareRx Plan. Hillary doesn't understand it.

7. Don't try to remember what you did yesterday.

8. Don't try to open the plastic packaging on that toy you bought your grandson. Tell him to call the Green Berets or the Navy Seals.

9. Don't try to find errors in your income tax return. The IRS is much better at this and they do it for free.

10. Stay away from airports. Your suspenders will set off the alarm and you will have to remove your hiking boots too. Airlines no longer serve meals. They have joined the junk food craze. You will have to pay for it too.

11. Don't challenge your grandson to a fifty yard dash. Also, don't join him in a game of touch football. Do you want to kill yourself?

12. Whatever you do, shy away from any form of physical labor. Instead, walk down to the grocery store for your bottle of milk of magnesia.

13. Forget about reviewing your old solid state physics and quantum mechanics texts. Your books are obsolete and so are you.

I had a humdinger to add here.

I can't remember what in the heck it was.

The End

Author Bio:

John T Jones, Ph.D.

Jones was a vice president of a Fortune 500 company subsidiary having the major responsibility for research and development and certain engineering functions. After he retired, he became editor of an international trade magazine. Jones is Executive Representative of IWS, sellers of Tyler Hicks wealth-success books and kits. He is a direct mail and mail order marketer and operates a dozen websites.

He has written three technical books, four novels (Bull, Revenge on the Mogollon Rim, Bone China, and In No Way Guilty), and many published papers on business, marketing, engineering and other topics. Details on many of these topics can be found at his personal web site.

Jones is a hack poet and amateur landscape painter. He lives in Idaho with his wife of 52 years. He has five children, three in medicine, a lawyer, and a portrait artist. The Jones? have thirty-two talented grandchildren (many with special musical talent and skills), and one great grand child.

Jones is a prolific writer which started when he was an engineering professor at Iowa State University (Go Cyclones!). He doesn?t know how to stop.

You can search for this article using: hp technical support, computer tech support, tech support, microsoft tech support, pc tech support
 
 
 

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